open rp post

[pecsonthebeach]

are you tired of being nice? don't you just want to go apeshit?

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[rosarianrebirth]

It has not been a good day for him, but there was a hunt to complete, and Joshua thought he was needed - and even with pain, it is just so good to be able to run around with Clive, to be able to help him, just a little.

But now they are almost back to the boat that will take them to the Hideaway when his strength finally saps, and he stumbles, reaching to prop himself against a black rock with one hand, the other on his chest, and trying to swallow down the noise of pain. Succeeding only partially.

He'll... need a moment.

[pecsonthebeach]

Everything is a mess in this world, to put it lightly, but having Joshua with him again almost makes Clive feel like the last eighteen years could never have happened. If the tragedy of Phoenix Gate had never transpired or wars hadn't been fought and Joshua became Duke as he was supposed to, they probably wouldn't be able to fight together quite like this, but they would still be together. The Phoenix and his Shield. Brothers. There's a comfort in it.

All the same, with the hunt completed, Clive is eager to get back to the Hideaway and take a breath. But as he continues walking, he realizes he doesn't hear the cadence of Joshua's footsteps behind him, and when he turns, his chest constricts at the sight of his brother clearly in pain. "Joshua."

He rushes back to him, reaching out to help steady him. "You should have said something."

[rosarianrebirth]

"It's all right." The response is automatic, but the way he takes the offered support and leans against Clive, gratefully, makes the reassurance somewhat less inspiring confidence.

"I thought I could handle it. Just... give me a moment. This is not a good place to rest."

His grip back is strong enough, clearly his limbs are not going weak, but he might be shivering slightly.

[pecsonthebeach]

It's not all right at all, but Clive is rapidly relearning that saying such things to Joshua doesn't have much of an effect. He's so stubborn, just as he always was. So, instead of arguing, he just pulls Joshua closer and wraps his arms around him.

No, this place isn't safe, but Joshua is shivering. If they're going to have to take a minute, anyway, then Clive will offer what natural warmth he can. A hand gently rubs at Joshua's back. "I know," he says, voice soft. "But I am still your Shield. Do not be afraid to use me."

[rosarianrebirth]

It isn't cold that makes him shiver, but the effort to keep going, yet the warmth of the embrace, of the reassurance that his brother is right here, alive, warm, himself eases him all the same, and he leans heavily against him, holding on with both arms and burying his face in Clive's shoulder.

"Clive...

"You carry the weight for so many. When it is time, I will, you are my shield - it is just day-to-day, I would rather you not have to carry any more. I'll... let you know beforehand if I'm too unwell to come with you."

That won't take away the worry, he knows. But it will, hopefully, allow Clive to not expect things to get so bad when they are away from help.

He's trying to think as clearly as he can while working to rally up his body, and it's ... mostly working.

He could probably still lie. But the desire to protect Clive in turn loses, if slightly, to the awareness that Clive needs to be able to trust him, just he trusts Clive, completely.

modern au time

[rosarianrebirth]

Even with Dion's help, it has taken a bit of time to locate his brother's current whereabouts, especially considering the need to at least not be very obvious that the older Lesage son is taking an interest in Rosfields. But, in the end, Joshua knows where to find him...

And has arrived when Clive is out. Which, he thinks, is fair enough, and it only takes a bit of questioning to be told where he would be.

As soon as he walks inside the bar, however, there is a chair flying towards his head, and he has to duck hard.

"Oh... shit. CLIVE!"

Finding him while staying safe sounds like it may be a difficult task. So he calls out.

[pecsonthebeach]

Bars are not really Clive's scene. They weren't his favorite social experiences even before The Incident, but he drags himself to quieter ones every now and then. It's more socially acceptable to drink alone in a public space than alone in his flat. At least his landlady has told him that in some attempt to get him out for something other than work.

He's kept to himself tonight, nursing some beer, but apparently even that has been too much for a couple of men who come in later. Clive has noticed them looking at him on and off, but it's not until he's almost finished with his second glass that they sit down on either side of him. "You're the bastard who killed Tillmann, aren't you." Except it's not a question and all three of them know it.

Clive sighs but says nothing, instead reaching into his pocket to place a few bills on the counter before slipping off his chair. Which, of course, pisses off the other men, though Clive is sure they wouldn't be pacified by anything he says or doesn't say. "Don't run away from us, coward!" chimes in the other.

Clive keeps walking toward the door, doing his best to dodge the other patrons who start to tentatively gather around to see the confrontation. He doesn't pay attention to the man who picks the worst time to come in, just hoping he can either get out of here unscathed - unlikely - or manage to take this fight outside.

But then there's a shout from behind him and Clive turns around to see an entire fucking chair flying through the air. He jerks his body to the side just in time to not get his head bashed in, but the chair makes contact with the door, the glass shattering from the impact.

And yet, somehow, amidst all the noise, he hears someone cry out his name, his real name, and he catches sight of that same man who just came in who is now right beside him, the color of his hair so warm and familiar, and one of the men who want his blood comes running at him and before he realizes what he's doing, he shoves Joshua away before the man barrels into him and knocks them both through the now destroyed door.

Fuck, not again.

The impact knocks the wind out of him, but his body still reacts, still works to protect itself as well as it can. It's not as if Clive has never been in a fight before, but this is not what he wanted from the night.

[rosarianrebirth]

Most people would have pushed Joshua away in a way that hurt his chest. Even in this situation, Clive does not, the motion on his shoulder making sure his chest avoids a hit, thus not triggering a kid of coughing fit that would make him vulnerable... and useless.

But oh, his brother is strong, and Joshua barely manages to catch his momentum before he's fully sprawled on the ground, only succeeding in time to stumble out after the two men already outside. Why didn't he think to at least try to ask Dion to be near?

Well. Because he wanted... needed... to have time with his brother. He just did not imagine said time would be watching Clive get beaten up, at worst, and Dion's commanding presence - coming from actual command - would have helped.

He has to think of some way to stop this himself.

A small motion of his hand, to place the item where he needs it, and a quick emergency line dial, and he stumbles mostly on top of Clive, wheezing in a way his actual fits never happened.

"Stop, please, stop. My inhaler! I ne-wheeze-ed my inhaler!"

A clear medical emergency can make people pause. It doesn't always, but he has to make a gamble.

"Please, help me find it! P-please!"

He hates feeling weak and helpless, so whenever his breathing really does break down bad enough, in most cases when he is in public he just tries to take care of things quietly. But this is far from usual circumstances... and he doesn't actually have an asthmatic fit. Entirely different.

One of the attackers grunts, but the other one does pause, enough for Joshua to wheeze his way through the bar and street name. The reason for it should very quickly become audible, if Joshua's gambit doesn't work.

For the sake of Clive's... and his own.... safety, he hopes they both think to back off, but that may be to much.

[pecsonthebeach]

Clive manages to shove his attacker off of him. Maybe this man isn't used to brawling or maybe he's had more to drink than Clive, working up some sort of courage to come after him like this. It doesn't matter. Clive just needs to not be on the ground where he's most vulnerable.

So he moves to push himself up automatically, distantly feeling the glass shards dig into the heels of his hands. It's tolerable pain. It's necessary pain. He has to get on his feet -

So then why has this achingly familiar man thrown himself on top of Clive?

He's having an asthma attack, it sounds like, and what a time to throw oneself into harm's way. Inside the bar, the music has been turned down and a burly man rushes to the entrance. The man who didn't attack Clive starts to worry. "Shit, Alan, this isn't..."

On top of Clive the man wheezes out the address where they are and he doesn't understand why at first, but his mind catches up quickly. He's helping. This idiot is actually helping him.

But the original attacker - Alan, apparently - shakes off his friend and growls. "No! He's a fuckin' murderer and he deserves to die!" Bending down, he scoops up a larger shard of glass, seemingly ignoring any pain he may feel as a result, and aims at Clive.

But Clive isn't alone. This man - Joshua, Joshua, his mind screams - is on top of him. He's in danger. He's right in Alan's way and he may or may not be having an actual asthma attack and Clive can't let anything happen to him -

He wraps his arms around Joshua and rolls to the side, just as the glass catches on his left cheek, slicing a line open as he turns.

The bouncer or whoever he is catches Alan by the arms and drags him away. They yell, they curse, they might get into their own scuffle. Clive doesn't pay attention. His cheek is on fire and so is his heart and when he focuses on Joshua, his vision swims with tears.

Until a droplet of something dark lands on Joshua's cheek. Clive's eyes go wide and he pushes himself up to sit, once again ignoring the pain in his hands. "Fuck..." He lifts a hand to brush the blood off Joshua's face, fingers shaking, then moves to hold it to his own.

Except, of course, there are little bits of glass in it. "Fuck." He grasps the hem of his shirt and tugs it up to press against his cheek.

[rosarianrebirth]

"Brother..." Joshua's face is barely audible. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

He's not crying as he did before, but tears are streaming down his face helplessly.

... Then blood drops on his face, and he freezes, wide-eyed in remembered shock.

Breathe, a voice cuts through the flashback, solid and certain. Just breathe with me.

For a few moments, Joshua tries just that, holding on to his brother like a lifeline. Then his mind wakes enough, and he gasps.

"Those need to be taken care of. Don't use them, it will make the glass dig in deeper." His voice trembles as if it will give out on him, and he doesn't turn his eyes from Clive even for a moment as he digs his phone out of his pocket, apologizing to the operator and asking for an ambulance, giving the proper address and Clive's assumed name, a shaky smile lighting up his eyes on Clive while he says it.

He must remain on the line, which is fine. He's not sure he's fit to move on his own just yet. He does lower the phone from his cheek, just to look at Clive more freely.

"I will not be going anywhere."

Even as a child, he had this tone when he had made up his mind, final and certain. Now he's using it again, a promise.

[pecsonthebeach]

Brother.

The word bounces around in his head while he sits there, trying to not bleed all over himself.

Brother.

There is so much chatter from inside the bar where the other patrons have gathered to watch the spectacle. It's what they do. Clive knows. He's been in this situation before. Alan continues to shout; he throws obscenities at Clive and the man holding him back, but also just shouts in general. The bouncer - that must be what he is - doesn't give in and announces that they've called the police on him. Clive turns his head to look at him to make sure he won't launch another attack. It would be one thing if it were just Clive on the receiving end, but -

His brother is here. And he won't let anything happen to him.

Not that Clive really understands how his brother is here, or even alive, but he is. That will be a discussion when his body isn't practically vibrating out of itself with the need to protect himself and his brother.

So it takes longer than it should for him to really react. He turns back to Joshua and watches as he continues the phone call, but also drops his shirt, now stained with his blood, of course, and presses the back of his hand to his cheek. The damage is already done, though. They'll have to be examined properly. But he shakes his head a little hesitantly and barely whispers, "Joshua...?"

[rosarianrebirth]

Joshua was shocked when Dion had called his name, but that is nothing compared to the way this whisper reverberates through him. The unique way that Clive always called it takes his breath away properly, and he leans in, pressing their foreheads together.

"I'm here, I'll not go away. They will come so this all gets looked at, and then we'll have time to properly talk." His next breath almost comes as a sob. "I had no idea you were alive until I saw and heard you from a distance a few years back. I've been looking since. And now I've found you."

Yes, the phone is still close enough that he can hear if he's asked questions, but it's muted. This is for Clive and Clive alone.

[pecsonthebeach]

He's not doing well by any stretch of the imagination, not with his face split open and his hands temporarily out of commission, but Clive is able to hold himself together.

That is until Joshua leans in and presses their foreheads together. Then his own tears fall unbidden, some slipping past his hand to sting into his wound and it hurts, this all hurts, talking hurts, but Joshua is alive and that does the opposite of hurt. His chest feels like it's going to explode in the best way.

Clive shakes his head as he listens to Joshua speak more and more. "A few years back? I didn't..." He didn't know. He didn't know his little brother was out there and trying to find him. If there had been any chance they could have reunited sooner, he wouldn't have kept his head down like this. He would have been out there sticking his nose where it didn't belong until he got answers. "You could have been hurt tonight." No. No, he can't think about that. Joshua is okay. But they're both involved in this altercation. "They'll want a statement from both of us. Shit, I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

[rosarianrebirth]

Joshua's sorry for that sting, but he couldn't stop his tears, let alone Clive's.

"I've never been that good a runner." Apologetic. "By the time I'd realized it was you and started moving, you were gone. I had your uniform to go off on."

A soft breath out.

"Tell them what you must. My ID is with my own name, so it will be easier if this stays quiet." But he's not going to make his brother lie. That will just be worse. "Give me a moment."

He sits up and retrieves his inhaler, tucked against Clive's leg where he tossed it earlier, holding it up, for any paying attention to them, and making a show of using it. It does ease up a bit of tightness in his chest, but some is not because of asthma at all.

"I'm here. I think I can hear the ambulance. It should be hurting less soon."

[pecsonthebeach]

Clive remembers. Joshua had always been sickly as a child. Not enough that it stopped him from living pretty normally, but running was never a talent. Meanwhile, Clive had been more active and involved in sports and the like. It's honestly probably one of the reasons he survived the accident all those years ago, having a healthy and strong body.

And now he's here, bleeding on the sidewalk in front of a bar because his life has gone nowhere but downhill ever since then. If Joshua had seen him in uniform a few years back, then it must have been right before he was discharged. Right before his commanding officer died.

Because of him.

Just a few feet away is Tillmann's...friend? Baying for his blood. What a fucking poetic mess this is.

He pulls his hand away from his face and sees the back of it smeared with blood, as he expected. It probably won't stop quickly, not with alcohol in his system. Of all the times to get attacked, it had to be when he's not at his best. But Clive also gingerly prods the inside of his cheek with his tongue, almost afraid to find out if the glass cut all the way through. He doesn't taste any blood and he doesn't find a hole in his cheek, but neither does he press any harder in case the skin is barely hanging on. Thank God for what he has, though. He replaces his hand on his cheek before continuing his conversation with Joshua, shaky as it may be.

"We didn't instigate this, at least, so it shouldn't be a problem, but..." Clive trails off, giving his cheek a moment to rest because it still really hurts and he shouldn't stretch it too much. There's also more of the truth on the tip of his tongue, but he's unsure if he should let Joshua know right now and in this situation.

But it's Joshua and he deserves the truth, even if it might put Clive in a weaker light in his brother's eyes. "The authorities know me. They might suspect...things." Okay, so that's still vague, but he's not going to talk about how he killed a man when there are so many people crowded around them. At least the ambulance is Johnny-on-the-spot. Clive just wants to get away. "Don't worry about me. I can handle the pain." Joshua will worry, though. He knows he will.

[rosarianrebirth]

The ambulance is here, and they will need to wait with far more conversation, but there are things Joshua does need to say before backing off for the EMT starts examining his brother and loading him into the ambulance - and yes, he's riding with him.

"I know what happened, brother. I talked with people in that bar. You did it to protect someone. I'm still here." Oh, he can guess what his brother is thinking. That, knowing, Joshua would turn away from him. But he knows.

The EMT being close, Joshua finally moves properly away to let them work.

"You'll be all right. Clint."

[pecsonthebeach]

Joshua knows what happened. Well, Clive can't be too surprised. It's not a secret Clint Richmond was involved in that situation, but the number of people who know that he is Clint can be counted on one hand. And now his brother is added to that list. Clive wishes he didn't know. Clive also had no way of expecting to see his previously dead brother earlier tonight, either.

The EMTs quickly clean his cheek and put a temporary bandage on for the ambulance ride so they can focus more on Clive's hands. They help lift him up inside and Clive immediately looks for Joshua. There's a comfort in seeing him again, one he hasn't felt for years, but when his brother hauls himself into the ambulance, too, some part of the world finally seems to click back into place.

Clive wonders if this is how Joshua felt when they were younger, when he would look at his brother in moments of stress. Clive had always tried to bear the brunt of their mother's disdain, though, to be fair, it was usually aimed at him to begin with. He learned from a young age what it was like to not have a mother's love, but he wouldn't let Joshua grow up with any less. Their mother may have treated him better, but she didn't treat him well, so Clive made sure his brother felt another kind of love, some kind of protection.

He feels like Joshua's protecting him now, all this time later. Even if hearing the name Clint feels wrong coming from him. "Thank you," he murmurs. The EMTs may think he means them, and he certainly is grateful, but his gaze finds Joshua instead.

[rosarianrebirth]

It is not that his father didn't love them, at least, but what Clive always, always gave him was so much more. It made his place in the world, uncertain thanks to his own frail health and lack of strength, a little less terrifying. So long as he had his brother's love, he would be all right. And he tried, with all his little self, to love him back, even if there was only so much he could do in turn.

Now, he can do a little more. He wishes he could have taken away the pain and just whisked his brother to have time to themselves, but he is only human, a historian, at that, not a medic. So he will have to trust in others.

He hears the thanks, and sees the look at him, and his eyes smile at his brother. It seems that the alcohol fog - yes, he could smell that - is lifting and the reality that they are together again is sinking in. Meanwhile Joshua himself is feeling the effect of the adrenaline from the fright that those two men were going to actually kill his brother, and the color is draining from his face. His hand grips around the inhaler, in case he needs it...

The other, he brushes two fingers against his lips, and then gently caresses Clive's forehead with them, as close to kissing his brow soothingly as he can get away with, right now.

[pecsonthebeach]

Clive's own adrenaline rapidly ebbs away as they are driven to the hospital. His whole body aches, let alone the enduring pain in his hands and cheek, and a part of him wants to just lie down completely on this stretcher and go to sleep, but he keeps himself upright. The EMTs don't work on fishing out the glass from his hands just yet, in case the drive jostles them and they end up shoving some shards in even deeper. That's fine. Clive can take the pain.

What he very nearly can't take, however, is Joshua's transferred kiss, so achingly gentle and sincere. Clive shuts his eyes against the welling tears and wishes they were alone in this ambulance. More than anything he wants to gather his brother into his arms, his hands be damned, and just hold him.

But he has to wait before he can do any of that. At least it doesn't take long to get to the hospital, though it takes some time to be treated. His hands are looked at and a nurse painstakingly removes the glass shards before cleaning his wounds and bandaging them up. Then the bandage on his face is removed and the laceration is cleaned again. The cut hadn't gone too deeply, but liquid stitches are applied to keep Clive from tearing it open more, and then dressed.

With a prescription for some stronger painkillers, Clive gets his discharge papers and is ushered out of the emergency department and into the cooler air of the night.

"This is...not how I expected my night to end up."

[rosarianrebirth]

Joshua had a bit of a bad moment, once Clive was out of his sight. That was.. the thought that he had come so close to losing his brother again, after having just found him was a terror that he had not considered, and it slammed into him with a force that had him curling up on the floor of a bathroom stall and just try to breathe. (Count of six out, count of three in.) It took many painful minutes before his mind cleared somewhat, and he was sorely missing his bathtub because of how he was shivering.

But he slowly sat up, then moved to the toilet seat, head between his knees to catch his breath a little, before finally daring to straighten up and go wash his hands and face, and sit in the waiting room.

In a little while, he took out his phone, sending to Dion,

I found him. Unfortunately, so did some friends of the reason he was discharged. We're at the ER, I am unhurt. I will write more in the morning.

He didn't know if Dion would worry... but he suspected it might be the case.

Now Clive is back out, and Joshua is going to wrap himself against his side like a sticker.

"Not even remotely, although I would say your night would have gone off-course anyway." One hand waves in the direction of the entrance. "There are taxis over there. Let me take you home?" Beat. "Your home. I'd love to take you to mine but you need rest more than the travel."

He will worry about feeding Clive once they get there. If either of them is up for food before the morning, anyway. Joshua isn't very sure he is, himself.

[pecsonthebeach]

A sticker brother has been acquired and, despite Clive's body practically screaming for a proper lie-down, he doesn't even care. The night is cool, but Joshua is warm and real and alive. He looks toward the entrance and nods a little absently. Right. There's a bed in his flat. Not the best one, but it serves its purpose.

But even though he acknowledges the need to get back home, he doesn't move just yet, except to breathe in and finally, properly wrap Joshua up into a hug. "Yeah, just...give me a minute." He needs this. They probably both do.

It's so reminiscent of their younger years and yet incredibly different at the same time. Clive remembers when they used to hug, Joshua's head really only came up to his chest, at the most. That isn't the case anymore. "You're as tall as me now," he whispers in amazement.

[rosarianrebirth]

A sticker brother has absolutely been acquired and he is not letting go anytime soon, but not moving yet also works. He is warm, because he always dresses up a bit too warmly, but he has barely stopped shivering because of the fright earlier, so Clive's solidity and warmth help him, in turn.

Both of his own arms wrap around Clive in turn, tight, as tight as he can.

"All the time in the world."

The whisper makes him shiver and his eyes sting, and then blur, but he can't let go and properly cry, not yet. "Still your little brother. Ah... I missed you so."

His voice quivers and he buries his face against Clive's shoulder because the words don't even begin to describe any of it.

[pecsonthebeach]

The hug hurts. Clive is sure he has bruises already forming from where he got thrown to the ground, but who cares about those? Who cares! Clive will happily take more as long as he can keep Joshua in his hold, or at least close by.

But it's so damn hard to keep it together the longer they embrace and when Joshua answers him, reminds him that he's still his little brother, Clive can't do it. The sudden reappearance of Joshua topped off by his draining energy and hurting body only sucks out the last dredges of whatever strength he had to keep going. He clings to Joshua with one hand while the other finds his brother's hair, fingertips threading through the bright strands and pressing against his scalp. He gasps in a sob and new tears track down his face.

"I lost you, Joshua." He lost everything that night. Everyone. Their father's death was devastating, of course, and he'll always grieve him, but the bond he had with Joshua ever since his brother was born was the most important thing in his life.

And then he kicked him out of the way of that speeding truck and that was the last time he ever saw him. He was in the hospital for a long time afterward, only to find out that their father really did die, but so did Joshua. And him. The sight of all three of their headstones next to each other has been burned into his mind forever.

"I can't believe you're really here."

[rosarianrebirth]

Oh... crap. Nope, no way hold back the tears after that sob, and Joshua shakes with one of his own, even if it stays silent.

"When I woke up... I could not remember who I was. For years, I did not know. And then I did, and I have been missing you... every day. Remembering all, and having nothing."

There had been that boy, so loved and so treasured, and then his life was completely gone, obliterated in a night. He had not known, for a very long time, why he had been spared at all. The world very clearly had not needed him...

He did his best to make use of the life he had been granted (by his brother, who was gone, but also by so many who had made sure his body recovered, and his mind, and he had shelter and food and education), but it was so... empty.

"Until that day when I saw you. And I realized... if the world was wrong about me being dead, why had I not thought that it might be wrong about you, too? So I looked, and I looked. Then chance brought a friend who remembered us from back then as a neighbor, and he'd been an officer. And he helped me find the trail to come to you again."

Joshua can't not believe it, because he has dedicated a lot of his adult life to making this a reality. His fingers clenched in Clive's shirt.

"And they almost took you from me again." Quiet, flat. Perfectly, helplessly balanced between terror and fury. "I could not have stood aside and watched them."

[pecsonthebeach]

There are definitely better places to have this sort of emotional breakdown than in public. Then again, they're at a hospital and if there is any place where it is somewhat normal to start crying, isn't this it? Not that Clive really cares either way. He has his brother back. That's all that matters.

He's curious as to who this friend is, but that can wait for later. What is more important is the shift in Joshua's tone. Clive pulls back enough to gently put his hands on his brother's face, both so he can see him and also to make sure Joshua looks at him, too. "They didn't. They won't." The last word comes out firmly. Clive may not have much to look forward to in his life, but with Joshua back, he at least has some reason to try.

But with the way Joshua says all that, like he really would do something drastic to protect Clive, makes him a little nervous. It's comforting to know the love they have for each other hasn't faded all these years, of course, but if Clive can help it, he won't let Joshua have blood on his hands, not even for his sake. Clive has already dirtied himself once, so he'll easily do it again. But not Joshua. He won't let Joshua.

Breathing out, he presses their foreheads together and just basks in his brother's presence for a few moments. They really can't stay here, though, and it's getting late. His flat isn't anything special, especially compared to the comfort in which they grew up, but he doesn't want to part from Joshua, and he's sure the feeling is mutual. "Come on. Let's get out of here."