[It is significantly harder than telling Joshua he loves him, even if he can't exactly explain why. It shouldn't be; Jill has been a part of their family for nearly as long as Joshua has, and Clive can hardly remember a time when he didn't hold some kind of affection for her, familial or otherwise.
But a new guilt drapes itself around him upon hearing that this place is a new chance for them. That may be true, for Joshua and Dion, and Jill to an extent. Their journeys have reached an end in one way or another, but Clive...
He can't stay here forever. Living in Caldera is a respite from the misery of Ultima and the Blight, sure, but one day he will have to return and finish what he's been dragged into. This remains unspoken, though. It would only upset his brother and he does a good enough job of that without any outside help.
Instead, he warms his hands over the fire for a moment, hoping to steer the conversation to safer waters.]
If you've already spoken to her about it, then you realize she'll be expecting me to say something.
[He glances over his shoulder, his lips starting to quirk up.]
[They had all finished their duty, as far as Joshua was concerned. Jill had said they didn't come back but magicks had disappeared from the land. Ultima, then, had to be gone. Joshua had seen as much as he had of their final stand before he had passed but he was certain that Clive had succeeded if what Jill had said was true. Whether he survived the fray or not was something Joshua didn't want to think about but what mattered is that they were done. They could rest...and while Joshua had given the world his brother once, he wouldn't be inclined to do so again.]
Clive...
[He sighs, resisting the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose at his brother's remarks.]
The last thing Jill will ever think is that you are disingenuous. We both are more than well aware you couldn't tell a convincing lie to save your life.
[Was that last jab necessary? Clive's building smile recedes into a scowl and he grumbles a response, mostly to himself, but still loud enough for Joshua to hear.]
Not you, too.
[Clive falls quiet again, spreading out his fingers so the heat can better envelop him. If he lets his eyes lose their focus just a little bit, it's almost like he's conjuring the flames himself. How long has he been here and still not been visited by any of the Eikons that previously called his body home? It still feels strange, unnatural, to be human.
Mostly, he just misses the ever-present company of the Phoenix's blessing. The flames that, while helping to consign him to a terrible fate, saved his life countless times. The fire that both forever reminded him of his deep grief and served as his best asset.
But that's not why they're here right now and Clive has no intention of dropping all of this in Joshua's lap without any warning.]
It isn't as if I don't want to tell her. I simply...don't know how. She deserves to feel special, not just an afterthought.
[Sorry Clive, the last jab was necessary, as per little brother laws. The scowl that settles on his brother's face has Joshua's own smile faltering slightly, but it eventually recovers.]
I know Clive. I agree that she does...but that doesn't mean you can't make her feel special. Why not take her out somewhere nice? There are many places in town the two of you could go, or you could always have a picnic out in the fields in spring when things warm again.
[Look Clive, he's not even telling you to tell her right now!! You can take your time.]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2025-01-02 03:53 pm (UTC)But a new guilt drapes itself around him upon hearing that this place is a new chance for them. That may be true, for Joshua and Dion, and Jill to an extent. Their journeys have reached an end in one way or another, but Clive...
He can't stay here forever. Living in Caldera is a respite from the misery of Ultima and the Blight, sure, but one day he will have to return and finish what he's been dragged into. This remains unspoken, though. It would only upset his brother and he does a good enough job of that without any outside help.
Instead, he warms his hands over the fire for a moment, hoping to steer the conversation to safer waters.]
If you've already spoken to her about it, then you realize she'll be expecting me to say something.
[He glances over his shoulder, his lips starting to quirk up.]
And then it will sound disingenuous.
no subject
Date: 2025-01-02 04:46 pm (UTC)Clive...
[He sighs, resisting the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose at his brother's remarks.]
The last thing Jill will ever think is that you are disingenuous. We both are more than well aware you couldn't tell a convincing lie to save your life.
no subject
Date: 2025-01-03 11:15 pm (UTC)Not you, too.
[Clive falls quiet again, spreading out his fingers so the heat can better envelop him. If he lets his eyes lose their focus just a little bit, it's almost like he's conjuring the flames himself. How long has he been here and still not been visited by any of the Eikons that previously called his body home? It still feels strange, unnatural, to be human.
Mostly, he just misses the ever-present company of the Phoenix's blessing. The flames that, while helping to consign him to a terrible fate, saved his life countless times. The fire that both forever reminded him of his deep grief and served as his best asset.
But that's not why they're here right now and Clive has no intention of dropping all of this in Joshua's lap without any warning.]
It isn't as if I don't want to tell her. I simply...don't know how. She deserves to feel special, not just an afterthought.
no subject
Date: 2025-01-19 06:16 pm (UTC)I know Clive. I agree that she does...but that doesn't mean you can't make her feel special. Why not take her out somewhere nice? There are many places in town the two of you could go, or you could always have a picnic out in the fields in spring when things warm again.
[Look Clive, he's not even telling you to tell her right now!! You can take your time.]