[...Ah. The flicker of that smile does catch Clive's attention. Of course, this situation doesn't come without its own outside influences, but they all learned from too young an age that real life doesn't play by the same rules as the storybooks that lived on his shelves in Rosalith. And Dion is attractive and with a good heart, so why wouldn't he have found someone in his own youth?
But the way Joshua speaks of this lover, in the past tense, Clive assumes this person has passed on. Or perhaps things didn't work out. So much has changed in Valisthea in the last handful of years alone, after all. Lovers could become enemies.
Not that any of this is actually his business. Joshua is, though, and his brows knit together again.]
You are content with his fondness?
[...Maybe that's a little accusatory.]
Forgive me, I just...worry. You always give so much of yourself. I can't bear the thought of you being left empty while someone else benefits but doesn't give anything back.
[Or as content as he can be. It's hard not to be content when Dion had shown him care and had spoiled him rotten. He had made him feel and experience things he never dared to think he'd have the opportunity to. It wasn't as if the prince himself hadn't voiced similar concerns, ones Joshua had done his best to quell. It wasn't fair to him...but when had life ever been fair to him or any of them?]
If it calms you, he holds the same worries you do. That he won't be able to give himself to me the way he thinks I deserve...but I told him that it is okay. I don't need much.
[A hand instinctively raises to touch at his chest, free from the hellish mark Ultima had left upon it.]
He is kind, Clive. Cruel to himself, at times, but he holds nothing but kindness and fondness toward me. I do not mind being patient with him as he is patient with me in turn.
[Joshua has made up his mind, as quietly headstrong as he ever was. And yet there's a tightness in Clive's chest that doesn't go away as he listens to all this. He can't help but feel like Joshua is settling just because he is so fond of Dion. But Joshua isn't blind, either.
Clive will forever be his brother's Shield, but sometimes there are battles that cannot rely on such a defense. In this case, all Clive can really do is step back and let Joshua live.
Slowly, he nods, then pulls Joshua into a hug.]
You've already made your decision. Even if I were to forbid it, it wouldn't do any good. I only have so much sway.
[He holds Joshua close for a few moments, perhaps longer than necessary, but the two of them have always found comfort in this embrace. A side effect of separation, maybe. Or the need to depend on each other when either of their parents wouldn't do.
With another deep breath, Clive pulls away.]
How should I assure Dion of my blessing, then? In person? I can put it in writing...
[The hug is unexpected but it's not unwelcome. It's never unwelcome. Joshua readily returns the embrace, settling his chin atop Clive's shoulder, soaking up the comfort and reassurance that comes with it. He's not wrong. He had already made his decision, and although he respects Clive's opinion he can't imagine what he'd do if he did forbid it for whatever reason. There's a brief moment of panic when his mind races to dark places, of what he'd do if he had to defy him...but that won't have to happen.
If only Clive knew just how much sway he did have over all of them.]
Thank you, Clive. I know you only have my best interests at heart. You're protecting me, even now.
[As for the best way to reassure Dion...]
Considering I gave him my confession and proposition in writing, another letter may cause him undue stress. I think in person would be better.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2024-12-02 04:07 am (UTC)But the way Joshua speaks of this lover, in the past tense, Clive assumes this person has passed on. Or perhaps things didn't work out. So much has changed in Valisthea in the last handful of years alone, after all. Lovers could become enemies.
Not that any of this is actually his business. Joshua is, though, and his brows knit together again.]
You are content with his fondness?
[...Maybe that's a little accusatory.]
Forgive me, I just...worry. You always give so much of yourself. I can't bear the thought of you being left empty while someone else benefits but doesn't give anything back.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-02 04:19 am (UTC)[Or as content as he can be. It's hard not to be content when Dion had shown him care and had spoiled him rotten. He had made him feel and experience things he never dared to think he'd have the opportunity to. It wasn't as if the prince himself hadn't voiced similar concerns, ones Joshua had done his best to quell. It wasn't fair to him...but when had life ever been fair to him or any of them?]
If it calms you, he holds the same worries you do. That he won't be able to give himself to me the way he thinks I deserve...but I told him that it is okay. I don't need much.
[A hand instinctively raises to touch at his chest, free from the hellish mark Ultima had left upon it.]
He is kind, Clive. Cruel to himself, at times, but he holds nothing but kindness and fondness toward me. I do not mind being patient with him as he is patient with me in turn.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-02 04:40 am (UTC)Clive will forever be his brother's Shield, but sometimes there are battles that cannot rely on such a defense. In this case, all Clive can really do is step back and let Joshua live.
Slowly, he nods, then pulls Joshua into a hug.]
You've already made your decision. Even if I were to forbid it, it wouldn't do any good. I only have so much sway.
[He holds Joshua close for a few moments, perhaps longer than necessary, but the two of them have always found comfort in this embrace. A side effect of separation, maybe. Or the need to depend on each other when either of their parents wouldn't do.
With another deep breath, Clive pulls away.]
How should I assure Dion of my blessing, then? In person? I can put it in writing...
no subject
Date: 2024-12-02 04:51 am (UTC)If only Clive knew just how much sway he did have over all of them.]
Thank you, Clive. I know you only have my best interests at heart. You're protecting me, even now.
[As for the best way to reassure Dion...]
Considering I gave him my confession and proposition in writing, another letter may cause him undue stress. I think in person would be better.